Mamas, We need To Stop DOING
When did we start setting the expectation that moms had to be always DOING?
My girlfriend posted something on Facebook that got to me. And I think I kept in the back of my mind this week.
As a mom of two and one that works from home, I am CONSTANTLY doing. When I don’t have everything planned or scheduled I feel terrible. On the days when I need time to get something done and turn on the tv, I feel the worst guilt.
When did being a mom get so damn complicated? When did mom guilt start setting in over planning a silly day?
So, with that in my mind, my youngest and I approached Thursday. And instead of structuring some sort of activity (the museum, a play date, craft time is how Thursdays normally go) … I just didn’t.
Instead, my youngest (2 years old) and I dropped off my oldest (four), came home and I asked her what in the world she wanted to do today.
And instead of planning, instead of structuring, we just PLAYED. Here’s how our day broke down.
After school drop off, she watched a show and I got some work done.
- Did a puzzle
- Played school bus
- Had a snack
- Played “you sleep, and I’ll be the alarm clock”
- We did a puzzle
- Cut weird-shaped
- More snacks
- Played blanket twirl
- Watched another show
And then we were done, it was time to pick up her sister. There was zero schedules, no planned creativity, and we didn’t even leave the house.
The truth is, most of mom life has become making sure our kids always have something to do and feeling guilty when we’re “lazy”. When in reality, the best memories of my childhood are doing nothing.
We Need To Do Less
So, mama if you’re reading this- do less.
Have the decompress, veg out days. Embrace the sporadic silliness. Don’t leave the house if you don’t want to.
“Never has being a mom been so complicated”. I don’t know when this changed but we need to take it back.
We need to remember that IT’S OKAY for our kids to be bored, for us not to have the whole day scheduled with activities. We need to remember that random play is better than structured stimulation.
And we need to not overlook that are kiddos wont’ remember going to the museum eighty-two times but how much fun they had making cookies that didn’t turn out with mom on a snowy day at home.
And we need to place less pressure on ourselves.
Our kids will grow up well rounded and mentally developed without structured activity book time. They’ll learn through play just as we did. But they grow too soon and I don’t want to spend that time organizing.
We don’t need all of the pressure to “keep up” or “be perfect”. Because we’re not perfect… and I sure as hell don’t want to be.
So, mamas, stop doing all the things. And stop feeling guilty for effing up all the things.
Start embracing and enjoying the little-ness of kids and remind yourself that kids expectations are low- we’re the ones who make it complicated.
And we’re also the ones who can take that back.