Entering The Unknown With Baby #2
Today's post comes to us from Kristine, from Birth & Baby Concierge. Kristine recently added a baby boy to her growing family and the transition from one babe to two took her a bit by surprise. Read all about it below.
Our baby boy was born one Sunday morning in May. Our girl, Big Sister, meeting Baby Boy was the most amazing moment of our lives. A memory that will last forever. Day one as a family of four was easy breezy, with everyone being high on excitement and endorphins and new love. Day two, reality began to set in. We had prepped our daughter for months on what to expect and she was thrilled and excited for our new adventure.
My husband and I had our moments of “how are we going to do…?” but we recycled the mantra I adapted when our girl was a newborn. We’ll figure it out. And when it came down to it, we all needed that mantra. But I don’t want this to be a “what I wish I had known” post. I want it to be a piece of reflection; of all we have experienced over the last year, and of all the growing we can do over the next year.
In all honesty, I have experienced a lot of guilt over the last few months, all of which was self-inflicted. In the weeks following our baby boy’s birth, I found it very hard to take it easy and let myself recover from birth. I was so determined to keep our girl’s life as normal as possible. Which was impossible given that this was the biggest change of her life. The sooner we realized and accepted that this would be hard for her – for all of us – the sooner we could figure out a way to manage our new life.
I spent, and still do spend, a lot of time feeling badly for not being able to give her as much attention as she once had. But every time I see them together, see how much they clearly love each other, and think about the amazing life they will have together as brother and sister, I know the good times will outweigh the bad. And I know I will forever need to make an effort to have one-on-one time with my kids where they get all of my attention. Right now these moments are few and far between, but we take them when we can. Whether it is simple cuddles on the couch way past bedtime, or doing the silliest things just to make her laugh…
Right before we found out we were expecting baby boy, I was finally getting my self-care groove back. Well, with two kids, a husband, a house, and a new business, self-care goes on the back burner. Waaay back. Perhaps it’s on another stovetop. There is now one more person to take care of, and a million things to take care of. I strongly believe in a healthy lifestyle, but sometimes it’s hard. I strongly believe in making sure your cup is full so that you can better give to others, but sometimes this too is hard. I try to not feel guilty about my lack of self-care, to not feel envious of those who seem to do it all including finding time for self-care. But this is also hard! There have been many times over the past 6 months I have said “next Monday I will…”. But what am I waiting for? Really! (As I said, this is a reflection piece!) I need to replace the guilt and the envy with the realization that a little is better than nothing! I don’t need to jump into jogging with two kids in tow, but taking a break, unwinding, and not always being MOM will be good for everyone. I love my family more than anything and want to give them my best me. So maybe it’s time to get that groove back…again
It didn’t really hit us that we would be having another baby – that we would have two children – until he was in my arms. Actually. Minutes after he was born, my husband and I looked at each other and “Oh my gosh, we have two kids!” came sputtering out of our mouths like we had no idea he had been baking in there for 40-plus weeks! This pregnancy flew by, and was, admittedly, not given as much acknowledgment as my first pregnancy. While I sometimes have feelings of regret or that nasty “G” word again (guilt) over letting weeks go by without taking a bump pic or for only taking part in prenatal yoga a handful of times, our baby boy fit into our lives right from the very beginning. Like he was always meant to be there.
I’ve said all along that he has actually been the easiest part of transitioning to life as a family of four (aside from a couple of hellish weeks of colic). It is so easy to get wrapped up in everything else and simply surviving, that I have to remind myself to slow down and watch this beautiful person growing in front of me. To soak in as much of it as I possibly can, because they grow fast. Take pictures. Take moments. Make memories. Everything else is just extra.
Most importantly, the Love. Oh man. There is so much love. I was worried, dumbfounded actually, as to how I would ever love another being as much as I do my daughter. But you do! Through the transitions, the learning, the laughing, the growing, the crying…the aww moments, the OMG moments, the holy crap moments…there is so much love. In fact, there is now one more whole person-worth of love! So while the idea of switching things up, getting out of the comfort zone, and entering the unknown may be a bit scary, know that you are absolutely right – but we’re going to figure it out, and we’re going to rock it.
How was your transition into the world of multiple children?
Kristine is an entrepreneur, wife, and mother of two beautiful littles. She has spent the past few years in birth support and education, and is a believer in following your gut, doing what feels right, and connecting with your confident self. Check her out here.